Goodbye 2012

So this year is about to finish and I am a bit sad, actually. It’s been such a good year that it is going to be a bit bittersweet to say goodbye.

It’s not like it’s been amazing and those amazing experiences won’t ever happen again… No… It’s a bit different. This has been a year of expectation, hope, consideration, nerves, etc, and although the new year will also bring some of those wonderfully weird feelings, it is also going to be a very different year, with a long path of discovery to travel.

I was thinking the other day that I want to keep my identity after I’ve given birth to the twins. I’ve heard so many stories of women who go from being ‘Jane Smith’ to turning into ‘Matt’s mum’, losing their identity on the way. Honestly, I don’t just want to be ‘the twins’ mum’, I still want to be me, Maria; with time for my husband, my crafting, my TV shows, and everything else that defines me. But the more I think about it, I know it won’t happen, especially because I want to be a good mother and the children come first.

The new year is going to see the later stage of my pregnancy, with all the preparation that it entails (NCT course, midwife and obstretician appointments, getting the nursery room ready, etc), and then when the children arrive, well, that’s a brand new story that will have to be written as we go along.

So, goodbye 2012. You’ve been the witness of our IVF journey, a year full of doubts, hope, cheer and bliss. For 2013, I only ask for as much happiness as we’ve had these past 12 months.

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