Tag Archives: future

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Change is one of the words that I’ve used the most lately on my facebook updates and other places, and it’s because there are important changes to come in my life soon.

The first one, and the most important one, is that Jon has got a new job for a different company and will be leaving Andromeda. Jon and I met at work and have been together since. We moved in together quite soon after meeting and haven’t been apart for more than 4 days at a time ever.

We wake up together, come to work together, have lunch together, drive back home together, have dinner together, watch TV or a film together, go to bed together. A fine routine. The one that my life spins around of. Sometimes we would socialise separately, or he would spend time at his computer whilst I watched some programme that he’s not interested in. But I could easily say that we spend 90% of our time together.

And this is going to change from January 10th onwards. Then we will become another couple who only see each other in the evenings and weekends. I really think that it will take some time for me to get used to this.

The second big change happening soon will somehow affect me. My company has just been bought by a big multinational company (shhh, it’s not official yet! We will be told tomorrow.. but I just happen to have this confidential information, hehe) and hence we expect big changes to happen. We have been assured that nobody (important) will lose their job…

The thing is, nobody was expecting Jon to move on and he is going to leave a position to fill. I’ve heard rumours that I may take some of his responsability on board, meaning that I will be somehow promoted to something else.

This scares the life out of me. Jon decided to move on from Andromeda because he needed a challenge. His job was too easy for him, he was on his comfort zone. I, however, am happy on my comfort zone. I’ve done my role for 3 and a half years now and I am just starting to feel happy to deal with it on my own, without any supervision.

I know that if I am given more responsibility I will happily take it, however, the initial fears will haunt me for a bit.

Then you better start swimmin’

Or you’ll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin’


Future thoughts

This may come as another surprise for those of you who know me (really know me). I hope you have recovered from hearing the news of me liking the N-Dubz album. But the news is, as it happens, that my biological clock has started ticking… Tick Tock, Tick Tock…

I was told this would happen, but I never wanted to believe it (in the same way as I never wanted to believe that my body shape would change after the age of 30, like my mum always warned me… Because I used to eat anything and never put on an ounce of weight… but it eventually happened that my body said “NO, this is it. Time for a change. From now on, you’ll get fat when you eat like this” And I’m not a fat cow or anything of the kind –I’ve just gone from a size 10 to a 14- but it really hurts not being able to fit on anything that I used to own)

So, yeah, I was told I would eventually want children and I always discarded the idea as something really crazy. Me? A mother? Never…! The deepest instincts inside me said “no way”. I never looked at babies and got all sentimental, I never felt the urge to touch them, cherish them, make them laugh, talk the crazy baby-talk to them or anything of the kind. To be perfectly honest, I was always more inclined to feel sorry for a poor stray dog than for a child who has fallen on the ground and is crying their lungs out. Indeed, this last fact tends to annoy me more than anything.

But I’ve noticed a change. Quite a noticeable change in me. Suddenly I wake up one day and realise that I am 31 years old, I am married to the most wonderful man on earth and I am very, VERY, happy. Yet,  there’s something missing. I see myself looking at expectant mothers’ websites, smiling at babies anywhere, wondering what my child would look in these or those clothes… I can hardly believe it myself, but yes, I think I’m ready. I AM ready.

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However becoming pregnant and having a child is quite a commitment and first we have to sort out a few things. We want to move to a bigger house, with all the economic effort that this brings. Then I would have to take maternity leave, and although it is much better in this country than in Spain, still it would mean taking quite a big cut in my earnings.  

So, all kind of questions start arising in my head:

Is this the right time?
Are we actually ready to bring a child to this world?
What if we keep trying and fail miserably?

I don’t have any of these answers, and I wonder if they’ll just come naturally to me. I coolly think about it and I reach the conclusion that now is not the right time, we don’t have the space/time/money required to bring up a child. But then… when is it really the right time? We can’t really wait forever. I don’t want to be 60 years old when my child hasn’t even gone to University. However, if we wait 2 or 3 more years, I will be more than 50 when my child goes to Uni (or college, or starts work, or whatever) Sounds scarily old. In addition to this, I read on the NCT website that “On average, women’s fertility falls after the age of 30 and even more sharply after 35” Not fantastic news.

So, where can I find the answers? Are there really any answers?
I wish I had a friend of my same age in the same situation to talk about these things… But I suppose Jon and I will figure it all out at some point.